WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
