I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
