the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
