I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
