You really coming over, don't trick.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
