I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize