Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
