I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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