I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
false alarm. still invincible.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize