I think im going to throw up on grandma
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
