You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
