that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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