If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
