I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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