I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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