We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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