have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
