It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
