I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
do herpes really smell.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
