I take back everything I said about communal showers
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
