u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
