Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
