We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
