Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
