There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
