Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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