I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize