The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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