WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
