I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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