i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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