he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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