my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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