that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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