I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
