OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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