rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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