i need an iv and a liver transplant
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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