I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You took a bar mat shot.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
