I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
