She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
