Can Purell be used as lube?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
