OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
