dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
