Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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