new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
