The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
