Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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