Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
