I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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