I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
