If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
