aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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