i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
