im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
