The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
