I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
