I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
