What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
