shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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