I accidentally burped into my bong.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
