I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have post one night stand depression
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