Do you still have your period?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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