I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
