so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
