well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We left the knife in your bed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
