My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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