I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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