Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
