dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
