Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize