Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
