Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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