Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
