addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
