I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
