i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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