Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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