wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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