In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
