No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize