He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
