kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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